Nowadays, comfort is usually equated with success and convenience is the largest priority. When you see the title of this blog you might think embracing suffering could be counterintuitive. But below our desire for peace and comfort is a deep truth: this is that through life's tests and challenges we evolve and discover our purpose.
In my youtube video, I dove into a topic often overlooked when we are seeking that goal of comfort and convenience: the value of suffering. I shared an interesting conversation with a client about a common existential question: "How do I find purpose?" My unexpected response, resonated deeply with the client: "Through suffering."
Suffering isn't just pain for pain's sake. It's more like a crucible, a transformative process where raw materials are forged into something stronger and more resilient. With my clients I talk about something called the hero's journey. This is a universal narrative where trials and tribulations ultimately lead to growth and self-discovery. And through suffering from the hardships we go through we are provided with the necessary friction for growth, pushing us out of our comfort zones we are shaped into greater versions of ourselves. In essence, suffering isn’t a punishment, but a route to self actualization and an evolved version of yourself.
This perspective challenges the idea that the ultimate goal in life is to have no hardships. Instead, it suggests that a variety of experiences exhibiting difficulty and pain serve as catalysts for personal growth and development.
But how do we unite the concept of suffering with our desire for comfort and security?
Consider the stories we enjoy listening to—those with character development. We love them because they reflect our own journeys of suffering and growth. Traditional cultures understand this deeply, often marking transitions to adulthood with rituals that involve challenges and suffering. Even modern therapy methods embrace this concept, like Wilderness therapy or Vision Quests, where individuals confront their demons in nature.
I share a deeply personal story in the youtube video linked about a friend who struggled with purpose despite wealth. It's a stark reminder that money doesn't solve life's existential questions; only lived experiences and hardships can do that.
Take, for instance, the Torah's story of Adam and Eve. Initially they both lived in the Garden of Eden where all their needs were provided for, and where they faced no hardships and only peace. However, their life in Eden was disrupted when they disobeyed the one restriction: which was to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Their decision to disobey this command led to their expulsion from the Garden, marking the beginning of their life outside of paradise.This fall from grace was pivotal. It taught Adam and Eve the importance of struggle and growth.By encountering challenges, such as working hard to find sustenance and what the pain of childbirth is like, Adam and Eve had to live with the consequences of their actions. They didn’t live in a state where they were constantly passively happy but instead now they were in a world where working hard and overcoming challenges was necessary to survive. By experiencing suffering while going through hardships, Adam and Eve gained valuable insights about themselves and the world while developing new skills such as resourcefulness or accepting the consequences of their actions this made them grow stronger as individuals and helped them gain purpose.
To unite the concept of suffering with our desire for comfort and security I suggest that it's more about seeking the balance between embracing life's hardships and looking for the moments of joy and fulfillment in our life. We shouldn’t seek suffering, but rather spend more time reflecting and being aware of its role in shaping us into our true selves and applying the lessons learned to future similar experiences.
In conclusion, the value of suffering isn’t in the pain you feel in the moment, but in the growth and transformation triggered from those challenges. Remember happiness is a feeling that cannot be felt without having the experience of sadness, and by going through and navigating life's challenges, we find our true purpose and potential which aids in our journey to find fulfillment and peace.
The lesson here is that life is not about avoiding suffering, but rather embracing it as a necessary part of the human experience.
If you find yourself in need of guidance or support, I am here to help. As a trained psychotherapist and coach, I am here to help you navigate life's ups and downs. Reach out to me today by filling out the contact form on our website, and take the first step towards a life filled with purpose, resilience, and fulfillment.
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