Women & the Modern Dating Dilemma

Hey, it’s Mara.

Let’s talk about something that’s been sitting heavy on a lot of women’s minds especially in this economy: do we double down on the career and keep chasing goals, or start making space for partnership, family, and maybe even motherhood?

It’s a loaded question. And it’s one I hear a lot from friends, peers and as someone working closely with psychotherapist Adam Law.

Why This Question Hits Harder Right Now

Let’s be real: the world feels unstable. Inflation’s wild, job markets are shifting, and a lot of us are under pressure to be “that girl” the one who’s booked, busy, emotionally regulated, and financially thriving.

But here’s something I’ve learned through Adam’s work: success and stability don’t always play well with love, especially when you delay emotional connection for too long. We’re biologically wired for bonding and family, and despite what society tells us, those instincts don’t vanish just because you’re focused on your bag.

The Cost of Postponing Love and Marriage

In a world where success is often measured by income and career achievements, we’re seeing more and more women postponing love, marriage, and children in favor of professional pursuits. But that decision can come with consequences, especially when it comes to relationships.

The reality is, we can’t always have everything we want in our own timeline. As Adam has pointed out in his work, if you're waiting for the “perfect moment” the perfect partner, the perfect career stability you might find yourself waiting forever. And by the time you realize it, you may have achieved everything career-wise but find yourself feeling lonely, or unsure if it's too late to start a family.

The Biological Clock Doesn’t Wait

This part isn’t meant to scare anyone it’s just biology. If you want kids one day, timing does matter. I came across a story Adam shared from a Forbes Health letter a 28-year-old woman wondering if she can “wait” until she’s fully established to think about babies.

And the truth? Your body doesn’t sync up with your five-year plan. That’s not fear-mongering. That’s being honest about the reality many women face because we’re not just competing with time; we’re navigating a system that wasn’t designed with our modern lifestyle in mind.

The Loneliest Generation?

We’ve got more tech, more “freedom,” more career choices and yet Gen Z is reportedly the loneliest generation. Something’s not adding up. Could it be that we’re missing connection because we’re afraid of slowing down? Afraid of being vulnerable? Or maybe we just never saw healthy models of love and partnership, so we focused on the things we could control: money, status, appearance.

But deep down? We’re still craving what humans have always craved : closeness, partnership, meaning.

The “High-Value Man” Conversation

Now let’s get into attraction because this is where it gets even trickier. Adam often talks about how women can unintentionally price themselves out of the dating market. Not because they’re too good but because as women rise in success and independence, it changes the dynamic of attraction.

High-value men (and I mean men who are stable, confident, emotionally available, and capable of leading) aren’t always looking for a partner with a resume that rivals theirs. Often, they’re drawn to softness, admiration, and someone who makes them feel needed not competed with.

That doesn’t mean you should dim your light. But it does mean understanding that power couple energy isn’t the only kind of relationship dynamic that works, and it’s okay to value different things in a partner than what society sells you.

A Note on That Viral “Men Are Trash” Rant

You may have seen that viral video. Tommy, the creator ranting about how she and her beautiful, successful friends can’t find anyone to date. Adam brought it up recently, and while I understand the frustration, I think it reveals something deeper.

If you become the man you want to date : dominant, busy, emotionally walled-off, and unavailable, how would a man even fit into your life? And do you even want to make room for someone?

Hard truth, but necessary.

So... Should You Wait or Settle Down?

I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. But I will say this:

• If you want love, don’t act like it’ll just fall into place later.

• If you want kids, listen to your body and the timeline that biology sets.

• If you’re waiting to “figure everything out” before letting love in, ask yourself why.

Maybe the real power move isn’t waiting until you're "done" becoming who you want to be maybe it’s inviting partnership into your life while you're still growing.

Because career wins are sweet. But someone to share it with? That’s a different kind of rich.

Want more real talk about relationships, timing, and self-worth? fill out our contact form below to connect. Adam offers a free online consultation!